


Goose goat protection squad

by SkilledWarriorKiwi



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angry Jane, Baked Goods, Caretaking, Comfort Food, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Friendship, F/M, Face Punching, Fist Fights, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Friendship/Love, Gamzee needs a hug, Good Moirail Gamzee Makara, Good Moirail Jane Crocker, Hand Feeding, Isolation, Loneliness, Male-Female Friendship, Meteorstuck, Non-Consensual Drug Use, OTP Feels, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Romance, Protection, Protectiveness, Purring Trolls, Rage, Requited Love, Sopor Slime, Stress Baking, The Other Trolls Are Assholes, Threats of Violence, Troll Culture, Unhealthy Relationships, Violent Thoughts, Violently Protective Moirail Jane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkilledWarriorKiwi/pseuds/SkilledWarriorKiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a tumblr prompt by austerearia-</p>
<p>  <i>'Either human stuck or regular, but gam relapsing (either to drugs, sopor, violent actions w/e) and Jane's reactions?'</i></p>
<p>This prompt kinda snowballed and I ended up adding 'Jane manages to pale-woo Gamzee with food and now will fuck you up if you hurt Gamzee also Jane is getting unintentionally affected by Gamzee's Rage powers when she looses it' whoops. Also everyone is on the Meteor Because Reasons</p>
<p>(The unhealthy/abusive relationship tags refer to Vriska's and Terezi's Diamond)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goose goat protection squad

Initially when her little group managed to locate and board the Meteor nearly eight months before it was timed to arrive in their session Jane had been ecstatic. As a child and sole Heirless of a worldwide empire she never really had that many friends barring Jake, Roxy and Dirk (The revelation that Dirk and Roxy were from the dead-earth future was also deeply unsettling) and even then she only ever spoke to them online before playing SBurb. Now she had her odd ecto-family to bond with along with Roxy's teenage mother and Dirk's brother.

The trolls she didn't particularly like, however. Karkat was too loud and his constant screeched insults reminded her uncomfortably of Caliborn, Terezi gave her goosebumps and she didn't appreciate the troll's disrespect for personal space. Vriska was simply awful in all manner of the word. Kanaya was...alright, but something about her caused Jane discomfort and the jadeblood was constantly followed around by an eerie odor; the sickly sweet scent of something teetering upon the cusp of ripeness and into decay. But while she never went out of her way to meet the trolls neither did she try to avoid them. Well, except Vriska but that was a given.

After the first week however the excitement slowly wound down and Jane became ridiculously bored so she eventually claimed the kitchen as her own and every second night she would bake. At first it had simply been to stave off boredom but soon it became a comforting routine of normalcy in her upside-down world of death. She was initially disappointed John wouldn't come bake with her until Rose quietly explained one night about John's father and his horrible murder. After that Jane didn't blame John for not wanting to be reminded of it and ceased inviting him to join her.

The first few times she baked it went without incident, with Jane baking and cleaning before taking her food to her friends to share. The third time was when she heard faint clicking and scraping, as if there were rats climbing through the walls. Confused, she traced down and asked Jade about it but after a thorough search the Witch assured her there were no rats on the Meteor so Jane tried to put the whole incident out of her mind. However when she was making a strawberry flan she heard the noise again, soft and secret. She ignored it until she was finished up her flan and cleaned before she began to investigate, her inner sleuth refusing to let it go.

Carefully she searched the kitchen, checking cabinets and underneath the table before glancing about, her eyes catching on a wide-mouthed vent located up near the corner of the back wall of the room. Quickly she picked up a nearby chair and moved to the vent before climbing up onto the chair. The vent grate, to her surprise, easily swung open at her touch; clearly it had been used quite often. Standing on tiptoes she peered down the shadowed metal shaft, squinting slightly as she tried to make out any potential lurkers.

However as far as she could tell the vent was empty. She sniffed; there was a strange chalky smell lingering in the air however but other than that she wasn't able to detect anything. She was about to pull back when she noticed some odd shallow grooves carved along the bottom of the vent. Scratch marks, perhaps?

Confused, Jane shut the vent and left. After a while of wandering she managed to locate Rose in the library and asked her about any potential crawlers in the vent. From that conversation she found out about Gamzee, another troll whom she had not yet met.

Apparently he lived in the massive labyrinth of vents spanning the entire Meteor and actual sightings of him were far and few between. Jane was more concerned than scared, how did he eat if he was stuck in those vents all the time? While she was told about those mass murders Jane found out he had been in contact with that evil puppet of Dirk's, or where ever it came from which probably spurred most it. Besides, Jane would be a hypocrite if she condemned Gamzee for his mind-controlled fueled murders when she had done the same thing at one point.

However at this point Rose's girlfriend Kanaya started to take an acute interest in the conversation, seemingly very eager to learn about where Jane had heard Gamzee within the walls. Jane didn't like the predatory glint in the rainbow drinker's eyes so instead she lied and said she heard him scuttling about while walking through the room filled with giant pickled beasts.

She left the conversation troubled and brooded in her room for long hours. While she was understandably wary of all trolls, she never felt threatened when she heard Gamzee clambering about the vents while she baked. A bit confused, sure, but never had she felt afraid. Why he was watching her was another question entirely but Jane would guess that the aroma of food was luring him out. She was never one to let someone starve while there was ample food available and despite the other trolls claims he was 'dangerous' she wouldn't let someone languish while she could potentially help, especially he had never given her a reason to be afraid.

So the next time she baked she carefully cut out a quarter of the rhubarb pie, placing it on a pastel pink plate and topped the warm pie with a generous dose of whipped cream before she carefully opened the vent and slid the slice of pie inside before shutting the grate and leaving without preamble.

The next day she checked the vent and found the plate completely bare of pie, looking as if it had even been licked clean.

She couldn't help but smile; it was always flattering when people enjoyed her food.

The next time she baked she made two quiches, one for herself and Dirk and another for Gamzee. After she cleaned up she stowed one quiche in her sylladex and with the other she slid it into the mouth of the vent. She was positive she caught a glimpse of a glowing eye and wild hair at the end of the vent, but it was so brief she wasn't quite sure.

Then she went and spent some time in Dirk's room, watching him scoff down his half of the quiche while she told him about her attempts to lure Gamzee out of the vents. While Dirk was understandably apprehensive about what she was attempting to do, he nonetheless trusted her judgement, something which deeply gratified her. Jane also knew Dirk would never tell anyone exactly what she was doing, not even his brother, so she felt secure enough to confide to him. Roxy and Jake, she knew, could be careless with their words- not out of malice but either due to forgetfulness or unintentionally blurting it out. Dirk however kept iron control over his actions at all times. Something Jane couldn't help but tease before she left, intentionally squirming her fingers down his side as she hugged him goodbye, laughing at the strangled squeak he let out before escaping the room.

For the next week Jane kept on leaving food for Gamzee; by now she was cooking dinner for everyone each night. She found it a bit ironic, the Maid making sure everyone remained fed. However she didn't mind it, there was something completely normal and comforting and while a few others helped every so often, namely Rose, Jade, Roxy and Dirk, Jane remained the main dinner maker. For lunch and breakfast however, she let them fend for themselves.

Well, almost all of them; she made double breakfast and lunch for herself and would sneak the plates into vents. By this point she wasn't being exactly subtle so most people began to notice what she was doing but Jane refused to stop even when Terezi cornered her in the lounge at one point. Jane just told the shark-toothed troll to 'bugger off and mind your own darn business!' before leaving in a grand huff.

Later Jane complained about Terezi's absolute lack of self awareness to Dirk, because how dare she lecture Jane about potential dangerous aliens when the Mind player had killed John and Dave before. If any troll on the Meteor became hostile to humans Jane would bet on her or her vile 'sister', not the weird troll vagrant living in the walls.

Regardless Jane had made up her mind about Gamzee. She would feed him damnit and everyone else could jog on for all she cared. (Jake in particular liked that announcement.)

At the moment however she was content to just leave food in vents on a space traveling giant rock for an alien juggalo to find. This went on for a few more weeks, Jane making Gamzee food and leaving it in vents while ignoring any potential lectures people tried to give her. However it was on week six this routine was up-heaved.

It started out like the other weeks, Jane making a massive lasagna for dinner and then cutting out a large square for Gamzee. However when she stepped up on the bench placed just underneath the vent- courtesy of Dirk -this time when she swung the grate open she looked up and found herself face-to-face with Gamzee.

Jane couldn't help but let out a surprised shriek, completely caught off guard at Gamzee being right _there_ after weeks of not seeing hide nor hair of him. Gamzee flinched back as Jane pinwheeled her free arm, desperately struggling to regain her balance and not drop the plate.

By then time she managed to right herself Gamzee had twisted around and scurried down the vent. A small part of Jane was impressed with how agile and quick Gamzee was in the cramped vent, especially considering she caught a glimpse of tall, curved horns but most of her was feeling distressed she'd managed to spook the troll.

She tried calling down the vent in hopes he'd answer her but there was no response. Jane bit her lip, buck teeth sinking into the skin as she squinted down the dark shaft but to her distress she saw nothing appear. She could hear the skitter of claws but the noise grew further and further away until it faded from her hearing completely.

Jane glanced back towards the messy kitchen before setting her jaw, mind made up. Carefully balancing the plate of lasagna in one hand she slowly pulled herself into the vent, grimacing as the coldness from the metal began to seep through her shirt.

However she refused to let that affect her, instead climbing fully into the vent and slowly began to crawl doggedly forward.

It was cramped and awkward, her elbows repeatedly hitting the sides and she banged her head against the top several times, causing her to curse loudly. But still she continued, driven by a need to confront Gamzee, wanting to know if he was okay and that she hadn't scared him away..

By the time ten minutes of crawling passed she was nearly regretting her decision, numerous scrapes decorating her bare arms and her knees were aching. She was about to start yelling when she heard a chorus of light honks, like bike horns echo through the shaft.

Perking up Jane quickened her crawling, head tilted as she strained to hear any further sounds. She was too excited to noticed the slanted angle the vent suddenly took until she started sliding forward with a squeak of surprise.

She managed to stop herself from face planting or dropping the lasagna before she looked around in confusion, the vent having spilled her out into a small square room. Thick pipes and other vent openings littered the grey walls; clearly this was the hub for the ventilation system that expanded through the entire Meteor.

However Jane's musings were cut short as she noticed a gangly shadow wedged behind one of the pipes, yellow eyes staring at her. Jane frowned, carefully getting to her feet and wincing slightly as her joints ached in protest.

Gamzee just pressed himself closer against the wall, looking as if he expected her to attack him, entire stance tense.

She was tempted to approach but the floor was littered with horns and empty bottles- including a massive heap of the horns stacked up in one of the corners -and in her tired state she'd probably trip and fall flat on her face trying to navigate it.

Besides, Gamzee was still trying to make himself seem as small as possible and something inside her ached desperately at seeing the troll so obviously frightened and wary of her.

This wasn't the vicious, savage killer she'd been warned about.

This was just a terrified teenage boy.

Jane felt her eyes sting with tears and she was overwhelmed with sympathy and anger; she wanted to do nothing more than walk over there and drag Gamzee into her arms. However she knew such a reaction would only make things worse. The obvious fear he was regarding her with made it plain he wouldn't welcome any kind of intrusion into his personal space.

So she beat down her churning emotions and instead knelt and carefully placed the plate of lasagna on the floor. 

"You forgot this," she said, struggling to keep her voice low and calm. 

Gamzee just stared at her from where he was still wedged tightly between the pipes and the wall, his eyes wary glints through the wild snarls of his hair. 

Jane wanted to either scream or cry at how blatantly scared he was of her. However she did neither and instead turned and crawled back into the vent, awkwardly scaling the slope and clambering along the shaft.

The crawling helped distract her for a while until she managed to find a vent to fall out of, finding herself tumbling out and landing with a thud on her rump in the common room. Luckily the only other person there was John; she had no idea what she might've done of any of the original 'Meteor Crew' were there. Probably start screaming or accusing them of terrorizing the weird lonely alien in the vents. 

She still felt foul and unclean from the way Gamzee had looked at her- as if she was a _threat_ and would hurt him in an instant if given the opportunity.

But rather than yelling at everything she just quietly ranted and raved; John joined in, telling her how he'd had a fight earlier with Vriska over the way he caught her treating Jake.

Jane was even more enraged and she immediately left in search of Jake whom she later found in the computer labs, looking shaky and withdrawn. Then there was more cursing and crying before Jane went back to her room after dropping off an upset Jake into Roxy's care and Jane fell into an emotionally-drained sleep.

The next day she woke feeling rough and raw. Her earlier anxiousness and anger over Gamzee along with her concern towards Jake left her short tempered and irritable. She even threw a pot at Vriska 'by accident' the next time she saw the Thief which nearly resulted in a punch up in the kitchen but Jane didn't care. She'd fight anyone who harmed her friends.

Vriska now nauseously reminded Jane of Caliborn, except she couldn't just block the alien and so had to deal with her selfish, senseless hate without any way to get away. Well, besides outright physical conflict as she found out.

But she had other things to worry about besides hateful smug aliens, and one was the isolated clown in the vents.

While she made a batch of mince pies Jane thought over of the potential ways to help Gamzee see she was no threat to him. She had heard enough wild tales about Gamzee's apparent 'murder spree' but if he was anywhere as violent as they said then he should've simply killed her when she stumbled/fell upon his secret room. Instead he had just watched as if _Jane_ was the real threat while trying to make himself seem as small as possible.

Though she was becoming quite fond of Dave and Rose Jane believed their minds were rather clouded on the issue, especially since they had no problems with letting Vriska run wild with only token complaints. So like before she ignored any potential warnings as she made up a plan of attack.

The mince pies were part of that plan and she munched on one while she stored three into her sylladex, mumbling a soft _hello_ to Jade as the Witch wandered into the kitchen. The two chattered for a bit, mostly inconsequential things like the potential death fights in the near future and their evil alien great-grandmother.

Eventually Jade left to seek out Dirk- Jane was quite relieved and impressed at how quickly those two hit it off -and Jane quickly hauled herself up into the vent and scurried along it. It was less awkward than her previous foray into the vents because she took her time and wasn't balancing a plate in one hand.

Also she vaguely remembered the route when she left Gamzee's room yesterday, rather than just crawling blindly through the vents like she initially did. Thus it took her little more than a minute to find the subjugglator's den.

This time she couldn't see Gamzee but she could feel him watching her. Rather than trying to find him- and make it seem as if she was 'hunting' him down -she just ejected the still-warm pies from her sylladex, along with a plate, and carefully put them on the ground next to the massive pile of bike horns.

"Here you go, Gamzee," Jane said, voice light and echoing through the room, "I made you some dinner. I am quite unsure if you like pies, however."

She waited for a few moments but there was no reply so she turned and crawled back into the vent with a soft parting goodbye.

The next few days followed that pattern, with Jane making Gamzee his meals and sneaking them into his den. She saw more of him as time progressed- honestly what even _was_ that ridiculous outfit -but he still shielded away whenever she gathered enough courage to tentatively approach.

Still, he was no longer lurking in the shadows or fleeing at her visits which she counted as a success and Jane was quite fascinated to see him clearly. He had slate-grey skin, pitch black hair and yellow eyes like the other trolls, however his face was slathered in facepaint, creating a facsimile of a grinning mask. His horns were the tallest out of the trolls, thick and wavy like a goat's.

She could easily see how filthy he was out in the open, however. His hair was a tangled, greasy rats nest and his nails were jagged and long. His strange purple outfit, while elaborate, was dirty and stained.

He still acted as if she was suddenly going to lash out at him however, which made Jane justifiably angry.

She may have cussed out Karkat later that evening when he tried to yell at her about 'fucking around with that hiveshit clown!' Which just resulted in her telling Karkat to shove his biased opinions up his nook (courtesy of previous troll culture lessons from Roxy) which shut up him momentarily. Whatever, Jane was so over that judgmental shit.

At least Rose and Dave had stopped tying to change her mind after the fourth conversation where she just stonewalled them whenever they tried to bring the subjugglator up.

Now Rose and Kanaya seemed more focused on explaining quadrants to Jane which Roxy joined halfway through. While Jane initially wasn't that interested- the Batterwitch's mass genocide of humanity and her murderous attempts on her friends hadn't exactly incited fondness for trolls within Jane -she had to admit understanding troll culture and their relationships could help her with Gamzee.

She already knew Rose was dating Kanaya; it wasn't uncommon to come across the two snuggled up together on the couch. Jane had gotten a bit closer with Kanaya after the Slyph had finally ceased pestering her about Gamzee. Jane was quite certain Rose had spoken to her 'matesprit' after the last time Jane told the rainbow drinker in blunt terms she wouldn't say where Gamzee was just so she could murder him for vague reasons.

However now that Kanaya had backed off about that topic she was willing to listen to what the jadeblood had to say. Some of it Jane didn't understand, especially the emphasis of pity which seemed more like an insulting reason to get romantically involved with someone. Also a romance based upon loathing reminded her uncomfortably of domestic violence, despite their attempts to convince her otherwise. Call it a personal preference, but she was immensely uneasy with any concept of 'romance' where the couple regularly assaulted each other.

However the pale quadrant fascinated her. Not the horrible unbalanced thing going on between the Scourge Sisters, not at all, but the whole practice behind a moirailegiance. She found something viscerally appealing about the whole concept, the sheer level of trust and longing to protect, restrain and better someone who is willing to let down their walls completely for their 'moirail'. 

For a vicious, war-breed species that must be quite the gesture.

That made Jane curious about just what Gamzee regarded her as. After all he'd been letting her feed him for the last month and even allowed her to invade his private territory without any expressing of violence.

She left the discussion deep in thought, walking aimlessly around the desolate rock as she pondered upon her newfound knowledge. 

The more she thought about it the more she became convinced Gamzee _needed_ a moirail. She had no idea how he had survived for so long on this Meteor, deliberately alienated and even outright hunted by the other occupants despite the fact she knew at least 80% of the trolls on the rock had also killed people. She wasn't sure why Gamzee had gotten the brunt of everyone's hate and she felt a familiar pang of sympathy and anger churn in her gut.

Trusting her gut instinct the next time she visited Gamzee she stayed, instead sitting cross legged on the steel floor and ejecting two plates of muffins. She sat one on the ground next to her, the other balanced on her lap.

Keeping her body language calm and open she began to eat. She kept up meaningless chatter as she ate, telling Gamzee about inconsequential things like Jake and Jade practicing their gun skills or Jane's attempts to teach Rose how too cook.

Halfway through her retelling of Roxy and Dave's first strife she could see a bony hand hesitantly pick up one of the muffins from the plate by her side from the corner of her eye. She made no attempt to move or look at him, simply taking a bite from her own muffin as she continued her tale.

Gamzee, from the small parts she could see, didn't seem to have anything resembling table manners. She caught glimpses of long teeth and then bits of half-chewed muffin flying everywhere.

Jane had to resist the urge to scold him, mentally reminding herself she had to ease him into knowing she was someone to trust, that she was someone who wouldn't hurt him. Considering his previous treatment by everyone Jane was quite pleased he was letting her this close to him. 

The next few days followed that routine; Jane would now eat her meals in his room. Gradually she began to address him more directly, asking him neutral questions about things i.e if he liked her cooking, what his favourite colour was, what kind of movies he liked.

She made sure to stay away from topics like the other trolls and his own Game session. She doubted he wanted to talk about those hot-button topics.

So instead she took it slow, each visit slowly inching closer to Gamzee. Wanting to show him without words she was to be trusted. Truthfully Jane expected to lead, assuming Gamzee was too wary to try and initiate anything pale with her first. She was proven wrong the following morning.

It had started off like the others, the two eating a plate each of eggs and harsh browns. When they finished she stored the plates and continued to tell Gamzee about Jade and Dirk's recent science experiment. She was too engrossed in the story to noticed Gamzee edging closer and closer to her until greasy black hair tickled against the side of her neck and ragged claws brushed along the back of her hand.

Jane broke off, a questioning noise escaping her as she shifted in place and looking inquiringly up at Gamzee. She blinked, taken aback at how close he was to her. Fidgeting, she struggled to keep from staring at the three long scars marring his painted face.

The hand brushing against hers moved, sliding down and linking bony fingers through hers. Jane glanced down, fascinated with the stark difference between their hands before looking back up at him.

Gamzee's expression was hesitant and shy, eyes looking everywhere but at her face. She could feel his hand shaking, ragged claws lightly scratching her skin.

He still looked wary, as if he was half expecting her to slap him away. Jane swallowed, trying to ease down the thick lump in her throat. What _happened_ to him?

Spurred by instinct Jane tentatively reached out with her spare hand, brushing her fingertips across his brow and tracing the scars marring his face before sliding her hand past his pointed ear and into the tangled mess of his hair. With a gentle tug she pulled him towards her, hoping he would finally let her close.

And he did, slumping forward like a puppet with its strings cut, all but collapsing against her. It was awkward and Jane was nearly knocked over before she managed to balance herself; Gamzee seemed to be trying to crawl on top of her, half sitting on her lap and his face pressed firmly against the side of her neck. He released her hand and latched onto her, nails digging into her shoulder blades.

He smelled awful, his hair was greasy and poking her in the eyes and the side of his horn was digging against her throat. She ignored all that, instead wrapping her arms around his back in a hug with her hands tangling into the numerous ribbons on the back of his outfit.

It was awkward and lopsided, but he was _hugging_ her. Her weeks of trying to win him over had paid off.

She rubbed his back, feeling the knobs of his spine through the purple fabric of his shirt and felt him mumble something against her skin.

Jane just patted him a few more times until the troll drew back, facepaint smudged and eyes bright. His knees dug into hers and that bizarre codpiece he was wearing was digging into her side but Jane smiled at him nonetheless.

"Are you alright?"

He seemed confused for a moment before answering her hesitantly, "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty fucking fine around 'bout now. Dunno about you, can't get any thinkpan hissing from you star monkeys."

Jane just stared at him for a few moments, completely caught off guard about the fact he'd actually spoken; his silence was so consistent Jane had begun to assume he was mute but that theory had just been blown out of the water.

Shaking it off, Jane replied, "I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you now know I'm a friend- I have no inclinations to cause you harm," she gave him a reassuring smile.

Gamzee studied her face with acute interest, long fangs digging into his lower lip. It was a few moments before he spoke, "Ain't got the best grip of faith on those motherfuckers out there who called their heretic selves 'friends' at some fucking point."

The venom in his voice gave her pause and she hesitated before slowly reaching out and gripping onto his hand. The snarl dropped from his face and he looked down in confusion.

"I...," Jane faltered slightly before continuing, "I don't still really comprehend what occurred on here, or why everyone seemed to label you as the acceptable target for abuse. Frankly I don't give an iota of a fig about the opinions from those other aliens- they seem more dangerous than you, considering you've spent all your time ferreted away in the vents."

Something dark flittered across Gamzee's face, "They've given their faith over to some skyblooded mother fuck. Ain't gonna be changing their pans, so might as well fuck off before they get their bitchy noise on at me."

Jane frowned minutely, trying to decipher his lingo, "It did appear to me they are immensely biased, or at least decided to throw you to the wolves so to speak. But enough of them, I would very much like to be your friend. Or..." She paused, suddenly feeling immensely self conscious before plowing forward. "...or even your moirail."

The answering look he gave her made something inside her ache; it was an expression of such trust and such vulnerability. Jane swore to herself she would never betray that look.

Of course just because they were now moirails didn't mean all their problems were solved; she knew from her discussions with Rose and Kanaya all the quadrants were commitments, things that needed copious amounts of work and patience to sort out.

The first day of Gamzee's acceptance of her pale proposal Jane spent most of it in his little den, talking to him. She was saddened and angry at how obvious Gamzee relished talking to her. She thought he was a naturally quiet person but after becoming moirails with him the subjugglator proved her wrong.

His blatant hunger for company also hurt and made it even more obvious his isolationism stint was for his own protection.

Jane found that out when she told Jade about her newfound relationship. The Witch was ecstatic- and seemed quite eager to meet Gamzee -but Karkat overheard and lectured her about.

Jane left as the two got in a bellowing match with Dave trying- and failing - to calm them down.

Whatever, she knew her decision wouldn't be the most popular one but she had made up her mind. Some, like Jake John and Dirk, accepted her decision without complaint. Roxy seemed a bit more leery but didn't lecture her, as did Rose. Dave complained but Jane thought it was more so lip service for his boyfriend. The trolls Jane didn't care about and ignored any of their complaints.

It still took her a few days to coax Gamzee out of the vents. It was slow and tedious but eventually she managed to persuade him to come out, mainly because she was sure everyone had been occupied.

It was then she made Gamzee have a shower. It was awkward and weird, even more so when it became apparent he didn't seem to know how to wash himself properly. After some confusion Jane found out Gamzee had essentially been forced to raise himself; and he hadn't been particularly successful, especially when he told her about 'sopor', a strange alien drug he had been addicted to.

Jane was sympathetic about it; little wonder he hadn't been taking care of himself. She was however quite angry at how none of Gamzee's friends had tried to help him with his obvious problem.

Which made her realize she'd behaved exactly the same way about Roxy's alcoholism.

This resulted in guilty tears burning her eyes and Gamzee trying to hug her, which pulled her into the bathtub he was sitting in. A brief water fight and determined scrubbing of Gamzee later she dragged the freshly clean troll (after washing his clothes as well) with her to the kitchen.

There she attempted to teach Gamzee how to bake scones. His first attempt resulted in a burnt mess and the second batch didn't have enough flour but his third was passable. Wonky and slightly overcooked but they were still edible.

They took the meal to Jane's room, where Gamzee was seemingly fascinated by her human memorabilia scattered around. While Gamzee ate his scones Jane pulled out the manicure kit Roxy had given her a few months ago and began to fix up Gamzee's nails.

His claws were thick and tattered, a bright orange akin to his wavy horns. She carefully filed down the jagged edges, smoothing them down and easing out the torn edges.

Gamzee, having finished swallowing down the last of his scones, settled on her bed like a contented cat, watching her fix up his claws with half lidded eyes as his damp hair dripped onto her duvet.

After she fixed his nails she then showed Gamzee some episodes of Parks and Rec. She wasn't sure if he understood it, but she knew he appreciated the gesture.

The next few days passed as thus; Jane trying to lure Gamzee further out of his shell and teaching him how to bake each night. Most now accepted her friendship with the clown, barring a few complaints. Karkat and Terezi whined and moaned before giving up. Kanaya never mentioned him at all and Vriska just started to get a horrible smug smile on her face whenever she saw Jane. But mostly they were left alone.

But like with everything recently the serendipity couldn't last and it came to a head when Gamzee didn't arrive for one of their dinnertime cooking sessions.

Jane frowned, looking up at the clock tick-tocking steadily away on the wall. He was nearly fifteen minutes late. For the part week since they'd became moirails Gamzee had never been late.

Worried, Jane set down the mixing bowl and unhooked her apron before making her way to the vent. She knew the way to Gamzee's den by heart at this point and easily clambered through the shaft. It took less than a minute to find Gamzee's room in the ventilation hub and Jane carefully slid free of the vent and stood upright.

"Gamzee?"

Jane frowned when there was no answer and started to search the room; it looked like there had been a fight, almost. There were gouges in the wall and small splatters of purple blood along with what looked like shattered glass. Immensely worried she darted towards the immense pile of horns were she could see the tip of a orange horn jutting up.

"Gamzee? Gamzee, are you alright, what happened here?" She asked, panic suffusing her voice; Gamzee was half buried in the massive pile and Jane quickly began to throw aside the horns as she dug him out.

When she finally excavated him she was worried at how non responsive he was. Even grabbing his shoulder and shaking him had no effect. Confused she looked him over for injuries; he'd bitten his lips and there were shallow scratches on the insides of his wrists. However they had already started to scab over so they obviously weren't serious.

With a grunt she gripped onto Gamzee's arms and carefully pulled him upright. To her mounting panic he didn't react at all to her manhandling. She shifted, horns honking under her as she settled onto the pile, Gamzee leaning against her. Bracing one hand along his shoulder blades she used the other to push back his fringe. 

The skin under her fingers was cold and clammy and she could feel Gamzee's body shaking slightly. His eyes were even worse; they were half lidded and completely glazed over. She tried snapping her fingers a few inches in front of his face but got no reaction. 

Jane was deeply worried but didn't want to chance leaving him unprotected, so instead she ejected her phone from her sylladex and scrolled through the contacts.

gutsyGumshoe [GG] has begun Bothering timaeusTestified [TT]  
  
GG: DIRK!  
GG: Are you there???  
GG: I really need your assistance!  
TG: Calm those horses Crocker, I'm right here.  
TG: What's happened?   
GG: Its Gamzee!   
GG: There's something wrong with him but I don't know what! :(   
TG: Is he hurt?  
Yes, but they're not even flesh wounds- just small scratches that are already scabbed over.  
GG: But his skin is all clammy and he's shaking.  
GG: Also it's like he's hardly aware I'm here! He can't even focus his eyes properly.  
GG: I don't know what's wrong with him!  
TG: Alright give me a minute and I'll swing by with some stuff that should help.   
TG: Where are you?  
GG: We're at a hub on the ventilation system- the north most one.  
TG: Gotcha.   
GG: Please hurry!  
  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] has ceased Bothering timaeusTestified [TT]  


While Jane waited anxiously for Dirk to arrive she positioned Gamzee back on the pile so he was lying on his side. She was worried at how docile and compliant he was but any attempts to rouse him was met with failure. 

Jane stifled a whine, running her hand through his fringe. He stirred faintly at that, pressing weakly back against her palm and made a low growling noise. Jane faltered until she realized he was _purring_ like some demented alien cat.

Swallowing thickly, she moved until she was sitting the horn pile with Gamzee's head now resting in her lap. She resumed patting his brow and he started to purr even louder.

A sudden scuffle from the vents caused her to perk up and she smiled in relief when Dirk neatly slid out of one of the nearby vents.

"Yo."

"Hi- I'm glad you came so quickly, I didn't know who else to ask and Roxy wasn't online-" she said in a rush but stopping when Dirk waved a hand, cutting her off.

"It's not a problem. Anyway what happened to your clown?"

"I don't know! I just found him like this!"

Dirk came closer, movements slow and carefully. Gamzee however didn't even seem to register Dirk's proximity to him.

"Wow, you're not kidding. You just found him like this?" Dirk asked as he squatted next to the pile, just out of arms reach.

"Yes- he didn't show up to help with dinner so I came looking for him," she looked helplessly down at the troll, who was still purring lowly.

Dirk didn't comment, instead ejecting some bottles of water and cloth which he handed over to her. Jane picked up the water first, ignoring Gamzee's low whine of protest as she stopped patting him.

Trying to get Gamzee to drink the water was a bit of a challenging as he was very resistant to opening his jaws. When she did coax them open she was surprised to see his teeth stained in green and his breath was sickly sweet.

She frowned as she carefully stopped some water into his mouth, small sips so he wouldn't choke. 

Dirk watched, brow furrowed before asking, "So you have no idea what happened?"

"Actually..." Jane paused, mouth suddenly dry. The green stains. The sweet odor. The lethargy and docile behaviour. She remember all of Gamzee's tales about that sopor substance and how it effected him; symptoms he was currently showing.

"I think he's been _drugged_ ," Jane said, tone tight. Her fingers dug into the water bottle and anger began to churn in her gut.

"What?" Dirk asked, quick and sharp.

"I...Gamzee told me he used to ingest sopor, which did 'weird shit to a trolls thinkpan'. He was quite addicted to it until he played the Game and he stopped. But from what he told me it made him slow and sluggish...exactly like this," she gestured helpless to her lap, where Gamzee was staring blearily at the wall.

"You think he ate more of it?"

"No," Jane said quickly, "Gamzee wouldn't have eaten it, even if he had some lying around. He didn't like how it made him feel and he told me he hadn't eaten it for nearly a sweep."

Dirk nodded, immediately accepting her words. Jane swallowed thickly, her mind shifting to the only acceptable conclusion; someone force-fed him sopor.

Jane's eyes narrowed as she mentally ran through the list- all the humans she instantly discounted. As much as some disapproved of her relationship she knew none of them would sink that low.

The trolls, however...

Karkat and Kanaya she doubted, if only because those two spent extensive amounts of time with Dave and Rose and she knew they were far more inclined to human morals. Drugging someone was fairly high on the list.

That left the so-called Scourge Sisters.

Terezi certainly didn't understand boundaries but in the last few months Jane had noticed how withdrawn and wan the Seer constantly looked and how she caved to every demand made by her 'sister' and Vriska had proven she neither cared about consent or anyone else's opinion.

As an image of Vriska appeared in her mind an ugly spike of anger erupted in her gut and the bottle she was holding burst as she clenched her fist.

She flinched, lap, shirt and glasses splattered with water. Gamzee let out a low growl and Dirk twitched, his front soaked.

"You alright there, Crocker?" Dirk asked, voice mild.

"Sorry," Jane said, tossing aside the ruined bottle, "I'm just thinking about all this-what a horrid mess it all is."

Dirk made a soft noise of agreement before he stood, saying, "I'll leave you to it. Send me a message if you need any help."

At her quizzical look he elaborated, "Gamzee doesn't know me- whatever he's been drugged with has made him docile but I highly doubt he'll remain that way as it wears off. Even before you became his moirail he avoided and mistrusted us. I doubt he'll want me hovering around as he recovers."

Though Jane was disappointed she had to concede to Dirk's logic. Even while he walked around with her Gamzee never spoke to anyone so she could understand Dirk's reasoning.

"I understand. Thank you for your help. Once I get Gamzee settled I shall confront the one who did this."

"You're gonna hunt them down?"

"Yes. What happened here is despicable- forced feeding Gamzee drugs would be akin to force feeding Roxy alcohol. I shall not let such a thing stand."

"Any ideas on who did this?"

"She had something to do with this, that bitch."

Dirk looked confused, "Roxy?"

"What? No of course not! It was that blue troll girl, Vriska! She had something to do with the shady shenanigans that occurred here, I just know it."

"Did you see her?"

"...well, no but I am positive it was her! I can just feel it."

Dirk's poker face was unreadable to Jane but she'd known him long enough to get a feel on his silences. This one felt like doubt.

Jane glared and Dirk threw his hands up, "look, I'm not saying you shouldn't investigate what happened but right now your alien juggalo needs your help, not you flying off onto a revenge mission. I'm just saying you should take care of your moirail first."

She held his hidden stare before slumping back, looking down at Gamzee's face. Beads of sweat dotted his brow and his breath was light and raspy.

Dirk was right. Justice had to wait.

After Dirk left Jane spent an hour with Gamzee, feeding him the other bottle of water and carefully moping his brow. Eventually she had to leave- ignoring the desperate whines from Gamzee -and she scurried down the vent and whipped up a thick batch of chicken soup.

He immediately latched back onto her when she reappeared; his movements were sloppy and uncoordinated but at least he was moving. It still took him around twenty minutes to finish off the soup and he promptly fell into a deep sleep as soon as he was done.

This time Jane stayed in his den rather than retreating back to her room like she usually did. She cleaned his place up a bit, including removing the glass which she was now positive had been a tall glass of sopor that had been force fed to him, before climbing up onto the pile with Gamzee where he promptly treated her like a teddy bear.

Jane didn't mind, instead sending some messages to her friends as he clung to her and briefly detailing the scenario. Roxy was especially enraged and Jane fell asleep staring at the bubblegum-pink text on her phone screen.

She woke up to Gamzee's thrashing, his twisting knocking her off the pile. Jane struggled to calm him down, pained whines erupting from his throat. Several scratches later he fell back into a doze and Jane fixed her lopsided glasses. Roxy had warned her this might happen, the Rogue being well acquainted with the damages and repercussions of a sudden relapse.

The rage that had appeared in her gut when she first found him worsened as she took care of Gamzee, the small pang of anger consolidating into a hideous burning rage that pulsed in her skull and made her short of breath.

She had to leave the room several times, trying to take her frustrations out on the kitchen and baking to the point she ran out of room on the tables.

It went on like this for two days, Jane watching over Gamzee and getting steadily angrier and angrier until on the second night Gamzee, looked right at her and mumbled something under his breath, looking alert for the first time in days.

Jane was desperately relieved he was getting better and on that night she decided to go confront Vriska.

She found the troll in the common room, along with Terezi, both Lalondes and Kanaya.

Jane didn't bother with pleasantries, instead snapping out, "Vriska!"

The troll paused before pivoting to face her. Her blue lips twisted into a broad grin as she saw Jane and the troll approached her, saying, "Crocker! Just the girl I wanted to see! I, ahem I mean _we've_ been going over the battle plans for the fights ahead and you are an integral player for-"

"Shut up," Jane snapped, tone cold, "I'm not here to listen to your self-pandering gloating. I'm here about Gamzee."

The troll blinked before laughing briefly, "No need to thank me! As the leader of this outfit it falls upon me to take matters into my own hands."

"So you don't deny you force fed him sopor," Jane ground out.

Vriska shrugged, "Of course not- sometimes a leader has to make unpopular decisions! And what kind of person would I be if I let a violent person like Gamzee run wild?"

She was acutely aware of everyone watching but Jane was too angry to care. The rage pulsed through her temples, leaving her feeling nauseous and shaky. Tendrils of red and purple encroached upon her vision, pulsing in time to her heartbeat.

Sucking in a shaky breath Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to calm herself down. It was hard when Vriska's grinning maw was only a few feet away. She heard Rose say something, but her voice sounded muffled and distant. Terezi slowly walked up to Vriska's shoulder, expression troubled. 

Jane ignored both Seers, instead snarling out "Oh that's right, _you_ have to protect everyone from Gamzee, since he is apparently the dangerous one! Never mind you have been the consistently the most horrible person on here! ugh, your lack of self-awareness would be ridiculous if it wasn't so appalling!"

Vriska's expression went blank before her smile returned, twice as vicious and smug than before, "Oh please, I'm going to get a morality lesson? If it wasn't for me all you dumbasses would be dead! I'm also gonna be the one who fixes all your fuck ups as usual!"

Terezi moved forward, reaching out a hand towards Vriska's shoulder and beginning in a hesitant voice, "Hey Vris how about we just calm down and-"

Vriska turned sharply, her dark hair fanning behind her as she twisted around, "Quiet down! I've got this shit sorted out!" Her tone biting and harsh, causing Terezi to minutely flinch backwards.

That was the final straw for Jane and will a wild snarl she launched herself forward. Vriska shifted, facing Jane with a smug look and two fingers lifting to her temple. Jane felt something jolt in her mind, her vision momentarily blurring before her Rage roared forth and brushed it aside. She caught a glimpse of the utterly stupefied expression on the troll's face before Jane's fist went smashing right into it.

With a meaty _crack_ she broke Vriska's nose, sending her glasses and a tooth flying. The two were sent crashing backwards, Jane seizing a handful of Vriska's shirt and striking her in the face with the other hand as they hit the floor. Jane was vaguely aware of one of the Lalondes screaming but Jane's sheer fury blinded her to anything other than maiming that horrid troll.

Claws sliced open her shirt and gore the skin of her side. Jane seized the offending hand and clenched her fist, snapping Vriska's wrist with a brief twist. She felt hands grab at her shoulders, presumably attempting to try and pry her off the troll. Jane jerked her arm back, feeling her elbow sink into someone's gut and sending them crashing into the wall. 

Vriska then kneed her hard in the abdomen and Jane snarled, vision pulsing purple before she punched Vriska in the face again. Blow after blow went crashing into the troll's face and blue blood began to steadily splatter her glasses and front. 

She pulled back, about to strike her again when hands hooked underneath her armpits and hauled her off the troll. Jane screamed, anger leaving her berserk and she thrashed in their grip, the familiar scent of face paint filling her nose. Gamzee ignored her screeching and squirming, instead unceremoniously hauling her out of the room, leaving behind Vriska who was struggling to breath through a broken nose and jaw from where she was sprawled on the ground and a dazed Terezi who was slumped against the thick indent she left in the wall. 

Jane cursed, kicking ineffectively against Gamzee's shins while still half mad from rage. She continued to squirm and snarl until she was dumped onto a pile of horns. She cursed, about to throw a punch when clawed hands suddenly smoothed back her fringe, palms cool against the over-heated skin of her brow. 

At his touch Jane felt the berserk fury vanished, leaving her feeling raw and oddly vulnerable. Sucking in shaky breaths Jane looked down at her bloody hands, completely shocked at how violent she had gotten while another part of her just felt immense vindictive smugness. That troll really did have it coming even if Jane went overboard.

With a groan Jane flopped back against the pile, horns honking. Gamzee settled down next to her, still patting her head. Jane looked around blearily, noting she was in the computer lab instead of in the den. Well, considering the fuss she'd put up he couldn't exactly drag her through the vents.

Minutes passed as Jane struggled to catch her breath, her racing heartbeat steadily slowing. With a sigh Jane squeezed her eyes shut, feeling exhausted.

When she was sufficiently calmed, Jane tugged off her glasses and grimaced at the dozens of droplets of blue staining the lenses, "I made a right mess of things," she sighed.

Gamzee, rather than scolding or agreeing, started to laugh. She swatted at his arm and he said, "Nah, some fucking hilarious shit, seeing you lay into spider sis was mother fucking satisfying."

"I was completely out of control! I probably scared Rose and Roxy out of their minds and I was half mad with anger. It was such a horrid thing for me-"

She was cut off when Gamzee suddenly leaned over and kissed her.

Jane frozen, completely caught off guard before hesitantly returning the kiss; it was sweet and chaste, a firm pressure of lips against hers. They remained like that for a long moment before pulling away, leaving Jane flustered and red-faced while Gamzee gave her a toothy grin.

"Real fucking sweet, diamond sis. You going in there and spilling life juice over my shitty-ass clown self. Especially against that heretic motherfucker."

She rubbed the back of her neck as Gamzee jostled her playfully, "Well, I won't tolerate anyone who relies upon those kind of morals like she does. I just hope it didn't frighten Rose or Roxy too badly."

Barely a second passed from her uttering those words before her phone beeped. Jane hesitated before tentatively pulling it from her pocket.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has begun Pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
  
TG: janey  
TG: hey janey  
TG: heeeeey  
GG: What?  
TG: those were some fuckin epic punches ;)  
GG: :B  



End file.
